i recently started the process of moving into a new house and the timing couldn’t be better. i am spring cleaning as i move–purging the old and unused to start over fresh, clean and organized. i’m decluttering more than just my closets, however. i’m cleaning out my stressed and tired mind.

“less is more,” my mother told me in the wee hours this morning. in the past year, i’ve learned the truth in that statement the very hard way. that i can’t do it all. i’m no magician and i can’t juggle it all and be happy or successful. i’ve compromised my health and well being by attempting to be superwoman. i lost sight of the beliefs and values that make me who i am.

so, as i clean and reorganize this spring, i won’t miss the magnificent beauty that lies in simplicity– in work, food, life, and love. in order to get more satisfaction out of life, i will start by doing less–much, much less.

as the weepies sing so eloquently in their song “simple life” below, “i want to live a simple life.”

{photos from my much needed relaxing weekend}

i stumbled upon this ted talk tonight that deeply impacted me (at a perfect time, too). brene brown has studied vulnerability for ten years. i highly recommend you watch this video.

she talks about how, as a society, we numb ourselves to vulnerability. by fearfully attempting to escape rejection and insecurity, we are preventing ourselves to fully experience joy, adventure, and creativity. we are all vulnerable creatures and unless we embrace our insecurities, what makes us different–what makes us beautiful–we will continue to be anxious, stressed, medicated, addicted, etc.

most importantly, if we don’t embrace being vulnerable, if we numb ourselves because we are fearful and insecure, we are not living wholeheartedly. we become miserable, looking for an answer or something more, striving for an unattainable perfection that will never come.

by recognizing our imperfections, loving them, being grateful for them, sharing that gratitude, and believing that we are worthy, we will open our hearts, unafraid of rejection, to possibility and pleasure. we will be able to look at ourselves in the mirror, in a photograph, and know that we are enough–good enough, capable enough, strong enough–and will love and appreciate ourselves in the way we wish others to.

i’ve long known that my happiness is determined by believing that i am worthy and deserving of it…but i haven’t treated myself as worthy. and i haven’t been very nice to me.

starting today, i am loving what makes me vulnerable. by doing so, i think i’ll be more compassionate and able to love others deeper, without restraint or fear. the way we love others is a reflection of how we love ourselves.

let’s build a beautiful, shameless social network of compassionate, vulnerable, splendid souls. let’s be authentic. let’s be real. who’s with me?

http://www.ted.com/talks/graham_hill_weekday_vegetarian.html

http://www.ted.com/talks/ellen_gustafson_obesity_hunger_1_global_food_issue.html

http://www.ted.com/talks/dean_ornish_says_your_genes_are_not_your_fate.html

http://www.ted.com/talks/lang/eng/jamie_oliver.html

http://www.ted.com/talks/dean_ornish_on_the_world_s_killer_diet.html

and probably the cutest:

http://www.ted.com/talks/birke_baehr_what_s_wrong_with_our_food_system.html

now tell me, does this make you stop and think?

the project that my classmate and i worked on is one that could (and should) be done by now. we planned to get together over the holidays, but never did. we both pushed the project aside in order to spend time with our families and take advantage of the break from school. now, we’re scrambling to get it done before the deadline.

on top of that, i’m wrapping up recruitment for team in training, putting together my portfolio for my PRCA student of the year nomination, and trying to stay ahead in my studies. put simply, i’ve got quite a lot on my plate and i’m feeling kind of full.

my mind overflows with thoughts and ideas. i love to lead and take on challenges. balancing priorities, however, is not my strong point. easily distracted, i could be the queen of the those that start projects and never finish. while i know this is nothing to brag about, i’m only being honest. my life feels like a chaotic mess most of the time and my living quarters and car–that i practically live out of these days–reflect that.

i’ve eased stress in my life by looking at the bigger picture and not worrying about things that won’t matter in time. however, i’m quickly realizing that it’s important not to completely forget about the small things and petty tasks, either. they, like the laundry in my room, have the ability to pile up and become quite the mountain. and i certainly don’t have time for mountain climbing right now.

everything in moderation. balance your priorities. i repeat these phrases in my mind constantly, but i have trouble activating them daily. and it’s gotten quite ridiculous.

i’m taking baby steps to reorganize my life. i’ve kept up with my giant planner for a week now. someone should give me a gold star for that.

to stay sane, happy, and healthy, we’ve got to stay balanced. in all aspects of life for that matter. good days cannot be appreciated without bad days. it takes a messy house to appreciate a fresh and clean one. little ironies that make life worth living.  i’ve just begun my journey to a centered life and any ideas you have about how to prioritize and organize are eagerly welcomed. 

how do you stay balanced?

time. effort. stress. tears. perfectionism. eating disorders.

a distorted culture.

when is enough, enough?

the path to happiness begins with self-love. i am on this journey. i’m a work in progress but i am practicing.

i don’t watch TV, but i spend a lot of my free time online, browsing blogs, shopping, and catching up on the news. i can honestly say super skinny models and actresses confused my understanding of true beauty for a while. as women, we naturally look for the beauty in things–from celebrities to accessories to nature. we yearn to be beautiful–we strive for unattainable perfection, but so often we forget to look for the beauty that is in our hearts and minds–the imperfect qualities that make us unique and delicate creatures.

we spend a vast amount of time grooming ourselves with expensive makeup, perfect outfits. staring in mirrors and cringing at the slightest appearance of a wrinkle or a roll.

it’s time to look deeper. i’ve struggled and obsessed with my body image for a while now. no matter what the scale said, i’ve never quite been perfectly satisfied with the reflection in the mirror. it’s time to groom from the inside out.

let’s redefine what it means to be beautiful. beauty is serving others. beauty is spending time with a friend and having great conversation. beauty is spending time outside and appreciating nature. beauty is looking in the mirror and seeing a humble heart and a bright smile.

i’m slowly learning that my happiness begins with loving myself.there’s more to life than the repetitive cycle of gaining and losing those last ten pounds or wearing the cutest outfit to the bar.  i’m learning to treat myself as a friend…doing things to love myself every day. making lists of what i like about me and taking time to remind myself of those things. sitting quietly and being thankful for my health and the opportunities i have. eating when i’m hungry, stopping when i’m full. going for a jog. enjoying a glass of wine.

beauty lies in finding balance. i’m still a little clumsy, but i’m getting there…

so, what to do when there’s just a little bit of peanut butter left in the jar, but not enough to scrape out a spoonful…nom, nom, nom.

oatmeal in a pb jar:
1/3 c. rolled oats
~1 tbsp. chia seeds
1 small diced apple
~1 tsp. pure maple syrup
generous sprinkling of ground cinnamon
cook and pour oatmeal into almost empty pb jar and devour enjoy.

rule #1: green, lean, mean blog posting machines don’t waste peanut butter.

after an interval run at the gym yesterday, i came home to refuel with a protein shake. you may recall a few days ago i mentioned a very old blender. if this picture doesn’t scream, “throw me into a garbage truck’ 1000 times, i don’t know what does.

mom, if you’re reading this, i think there may be an aisle called “kitchen appliances” at sam’s club that you might want to stroll down this week. fortunately for me, not all of my shake ended up on the counter and i was able to enjoy a little berry goodness.i  was peer pressured (just kidding) into taking RPM with Megan and Raysha at the gym and as usual, it kicked my rear end. i think the ultimate test of physical fitness should be whether or not you can teach a cycling class. even when i went to RPM six to seven times a week, i never felt like i could ever muster up the strength or breath to shout out instructions — much less smile while doing it. maybe i’ll add getting spin certified to my to-do list this year. please stop laughing.

i got cramps in my calf muscles during spin class so i got home and shoved a banana down my throat. my dad actually stocked the fridge full of veggies, so i was pumped to eat them all. i sliced up a bell pepper, onion and cilantro and sauteed it in EVOO and heated up two veggie burgers. yes, two. they are only approximately 100 calories each and i needed the protein (about 11-13 grams per burger).  one of the burgers was processed and disgusting and one was made from scratch by me (so it was undeniably delicious). can you tell the difference?two-a-day workouts make me a hungry beast…especially when they involve a lot of cardio. i ended up eating a cup of special K and then attempted to go to bed. i was literally tossing and turning because my stomach kept growling, so i ventured back downstairs and ate triscuits and cheese before finally falling asleep. my stomach never stopped rumbling. rawr.

any tips/tricks you have to make the hunger stop!?!

tonight is my last information meeting in Huntsville before our preview party and kickoff! wish me luck!

Lead singer, Andrew McMahon, is not only a complete and total badass musician, but he is also a leukemia survivor and I MET HIM! It was in Milwaukee and of course I acted like a starstruck idiot. I had rehearsed over and over exactly what I wanted to say in my head and then when it was my turn to speak I couldn’t even stutter out those five words: “Will you have my babies?”

I’m a loser.

send your favorite workout jams my way. kthanks.

brittney and i ran a few miles after our first info meeting and rewarded ourselves with yumminess–miniature ice cream! i had my favorite flavor–coffee (go figure).what’s cuter–post workout me and britt or the tiny cartons?? don’t answer that (unless you say we are).

happy birthday to my brother bear, zack! he celebrated the big 2-1 yesterday, so i was the best big sister ever (as usual) and bought him his first legal shot! cheers to everything going downhill from here! just kidding, brosef…this is just the beginning of lots of great things to come.

so here we are, the beginning… a new year, a brand new decade, a fresh start. and here i sit–with 20 more lbs (yes,  i can’t believe it either) on my small frame than i had when i started this blog last year.  maybe this is the problem??

about 10 of these extra lbs came about in chicago  and the other 10 are the result of a new desk job, the holidays, not enough exercise, and a lack of self-discipline. while i’m not nearly in the overweight bracket and i could run 10 miles today if i wanted to,  this is just not my happy weight.  i don’t believe the scale is what you should determine your shape  by (go by body fat or by how your jeans fit), but i know the range i’d like it to be in.

the plan. i’ve started training for the Disney Princess Half Marathon again so regular cardio (running and cross training–spin/biking mostly) will probably knock off the holiday 10 pretty quickly. i’m also hoppin’ on the Fitnessista’s winter shape up train and squeezing in a couple of body pump classes each week to tone up. like the fitnessista said, 80% of your what your body looks like is determined by what you eat. in the past year, i have let my food morals slip…it’s time to tighten them back up by eliminating processed and refined foods and drastically reducing my sweet intake and adding in more lean protein, veggies, smart carbs, and healthy fats.

i also have several goals for this year that will force me to cut back on computer and couch time and keep me focused, busy, and moving. some of them are:

• buy a bike
• complete a triathlon (half ironman distance)
• become more familiar with weight-training
• read more about health & nutrition (i find when i read about it daily, i think more about the food i put into my body…therefore, making much better choices about what i eat)

i also have other goals that aren’t fitness related, but will keep me learning new things and exercising my mind for overall well-being

• learn to knit & crochet
• buy new less, thrift more
• buy a DSLR and take more pictures (of people and the world instead of tipsy nights at the bar )
• travel to at least 3 new states this year
• get out of the country!
• be better about keeping in touch with friends (more than just facebook!)

time to get fit!what are your goals–short term and long term??

“you’ll never be happy with more until you’re happy with what you already have.”

today, i’m thankful for…

a fulfilling job. working for a cancer non-profit really helps me realize what is truly important in life–relationships with God & people, doing what makes me happy, and helping others. our life on Earth is a truly a vapor and my career choice not only makes me feel good about myself by helping others in several different ways, but also has helped me keep the big picture in mind –by having faith in God’s plan and not worrying much about things that won’t matter 5 years from now.

great friends. especially one of my best friends who seems to be in the same place in life as i am right now. i love it when that happens because it’s great to have someone that can relate and offer a different perspective on life.

oscar the puppy. there’s something about a hyperactive 2lb teacup poodle running in circles and biting my face that never fails to make me smile.

my sissy. cause she rocks.
the end.

have you taken time to be thankful today? have a happy weekend!